well well...you're being abandoned for so long hon..sorry for not having time to update my little cutie here..i'd been really busy lately and i was seriously not in the mood of writing for a little while..life had always been the same..going to class,having an exam from time to time, spending time with friends, stressed out when something was in my way and bla bla bla..just finished having final exam that was totally different from all the exams that i'd been gone through before..what a day..anyway, it was fun though after three weeks of struggling with pile of notes that i'd never been able to cover it all, i was here in my little cozy home enjoying every second of my priceless freedom even for a while...for the exam, the only thing that i'm able to do right now is tawakkal...hoping that i won't get bad results.

you've been granted with lots of wonderful things in your life,

your parents love you unconditionally,

not even once in your whole life time they ask for anything in return,

they love you despites all the bad things you'd been doing for all this while,

you'd seen with your own eyes how your late mom sacrificed lots of things for the sake of your happiness,

despites of the uncontrollable spreading of malignants inside her own body which slowly eating her alive,

she never forget to love and attend your needs,

she endured all the pain for you, your dad and your siblings,

she knew all along that she'll be return to her own creator soon,

she accepted the fact that her time in this world was really short,

and still she never forget to carry out her responsibility as a muslim, mom and wife though she sometime couldn't afford to get up by herself,

you'd seen all those things display right in front of your eyes..

so please be strong the way your mother did,

and never give up cause you have Allah by your side,

don't you dare to put all the sacrifes the'd done for you into a waste..

life during these days was really really hectic..it was so suffocating till i felt that i couldn't breath sometimes..i do not know how in the world that i was able to go through all those things..sometimes i felt that it doesn't belong to me yet it stroked me how much efforts i'd been put on to get this far..so i just couldn't put my effort to waste..it was hard..seriously.. i admit for the first time i got clueless kept forgetting and mixing up the things that i'd been memorized before..it was really unusual of me..ya Allah please help me..i just really need you now..i didn't want to disappoint all my treasures in life..i didn't want to let them down because that was the last thing i would ever do..but i just kept disappointing 'em without i even realized it..

pack schedule+test=collapse.. 0_0

it was so damn pack..and i didn't know how i could manage to go through this day..it was such a long and tiring days with 6 lectures ...i was survived! it was too much..with that embryology thingy..lots of terms for the same thing but at different stages..why did they create so many terms for that same kind of thing..and now the things to remember are increasing dramatically..how i'm gonna do this! Luckily our kesatria ended up earlier than usual coz was really really tired..and i got BEL paper to sit at night..such a long and tiring day...

mid term break...

it was so lovely to be at home again after having that stressful progress test..i'm just hoping that i won't get bad result coz it was such a last minute preparation with tons of lectures notes to be covered..having not enough time to remember all those little microscopic bacteria, histology with tons of things to memorize and other subjects which are so 'irresistable'..

being so busy for the saf preaparation and all sorts of non-academic activities made me loss sometimes as i couldn't cope with this kind of environment yet..i just couldn't help for being so tired after having such a hectic schedule starting early in the morning and end up late in the evening..may be as time progressing, i was able to cope with all of these thing..i'm really pray for that..The students in this faculty were so brilliant, and i didn't think i was comparable to them..all the seniors from diploma seem to know lots of things and i could imagine that all the things that we learnt were just at their fingertips..the fast track students and matrix students were not bad at all..They were so hardworking and it scared me out sometimes..i'm just praying that i'm able to go through these five years of my life as a medical student..i don't want to be an ordinary doctor..i want to be an extraordinary doctor who can contribute to the societies without expecting any rewards in return..amin..

sorts of things...

There's lots of wedding invitations during this school holiday that kept me busy and required my family and i to travel such a long journey to my dad's hometown after almost one year i hadn't step my feet there. It wasn't only wedding invitations but more to "lending a hand" invitations coz this is my closest relatives' weddings, so i just couldn't stay still and watched the whole procession without offering any help . I didn't know why but when i saw how my cousins and her family handled these whole things for that big event, i could conclude that we need to consider the whole aspects in order to get married and it wasn't like a piece of cake. If i was being asked on how i felt the moment i saw my cousins getting married, all i could tell that it wasn't easy to get married..

Tons of things need to be considered, not only the moment of ones marriage but also the life after their marriage. In conclusion, i'm not ready yet to face that kind of life even though i do have the feeling of having someone who was being fated as my husband.. =))

However i felt really envious of my cousins because both of them had found their own happiness and i do really happy for them..May Alllah bless their marriage..

The whole week that we spend was incredulously memorable because for the first time in my life, i enjoyed going back to my dad's hometown and visiting all the relatives who i rarely seen. Before this, i admit that it was such a burden to head back to my dad's hometown because i wasn't that closed with the relatives there and what made me uneasy being with them was that i could hardly understand their kelantanese accent which became the barrier of our communication..However, i do understand what they said easily after living in kelantan for almost two years and now i really enjoyed their company.

There's one time when i visited my great grandmother, i felt a pang of sadness the moment i saw how she was being treated. I wasn't put the blame on anyone, its just that i felt that this world was really unfair because i could tell that this old,sickly grandmother had sacrificed her whole life for the sake of her beloved ones but what she got in return was not as much as what she had given ..The way she was being treated was just so unforgiveable. Just bear in mind that she was not a burden but a gift from Allah. I hope that we won't forget all the sacrifices that had been done by our parents so easily till we have the heart to simply abandoning them like they are nothing.

Cut3 $tUffs

Just bear with me today coz all of sudden i just feel like to put some of the cute stuffS that i found...out of nowhere this crazy idea just popping out of my mind..silly girl =))

Even if i won't be able to have it, just by looking at these stuffs is more than enough.

Now its time to enjoy!!! yeay...

different emotions displayed and most importantly cute.. ^^

just because all the kittens seem to abandon him..he'll just befriend with that little chick

at least he's got friend right..

oh,its so cold!!

i don't think I've the heart to eat this food stuff

its just too cute to be slice ,grind and mix with saliva inside the mouth. hahaha

=p

this is so amazing!!

kawaii =))

Getting married =))

Who's getting married?? of course it won't be me, definitely.I'm really happy right at this moment coz my favourite cousin is getting married tonight..how lovely <3

I hope they'll have a blessing marriage and stick to each other no matter what happen in the future..i'm just hoping she'll be happy for the rest of her life..amin..

kak su..i love you so much..be happy and just don't let the smile erased from your face coz it is the best healer even in the lowest point of your life..keep smiling =))

dull life~

My life seems so dull recently caused i'd kept wasting it on the unnecessary things. I know that kind of things were not good at all but i just couldn't resist myself to enjoy those kind of things.In the end, I was just kept receiving ear-piercing, non-stop babbling from my dad.What else could i said since it was my own fault after all..hehe, so i just need to bear with it no matter what..

My little brother was fun to be with but when he started throwing his tantrums and that was the time that i really hate to deal with. I didn't know what's gotten in his own mind cause whenever i scolded him not to do this and that, he was just seems so happy to do those things. He's really getting on my nerves but i just couldn't stay mad at him.

untitled..

It seems like ages that i'd been abandoned my little tiny friend here (this blog)..it's just that i didn't have the mood to write for the time being..
no more typing nonsense things..
For the whole 5 weeks in pre med, i didn't know how to put in words..it was like all sorts of feeling that kept mixing up. It was very enjoyable to discover the whole new things and yet it gave me some sorts of feeling of nervousness, insecurity,and capability to devote my whole life in this path..It scared me out to think about that matter..just one thing that i bore in my mind the moment i was stepping out of the exam hall..if i get chosen. then it was what best for me and Allah knows that i could cope with that kind of life..so i'll try my very best..insya allah but if not, then maybe this was not the one for me.

holiday was my favourite..hahaha.. i just so love it. i'm free to do anything and it makes me so happy..

How i wish that ibu would be here even for just a split second to see how happy my dad was..

The smile on his face enlightens my day.He seems so happy today that he couldn't afford to erase the smile on his face.I know i'll miss him terribly when the time comes and he's being taken away from me. I don't know how in the world that i'm able to go on with my life when he's not by my side..its scary to think of it but no matter how much i want to put the thought aside, i just couldn't afford to do that because i know the time will come...

Field Trip..woohoo!!!!! i just so love it!

No need to mention how much i love this field trip..don't know why but one thing i know for sure that i could get away from that 'prison' even for just a while.. Being close to nature was much more fun than spending the whole day at the shopping mall..ok no offense to those who loved shopping mall that much coz i just couldn't help myself from falling head over heels in love with nature..hahaha..so freaking liar..its not that i love nature that much but it was kind of like that i felt myself so damn lucky for being given a chance to enjoy the the god's creation that laid in front of my eyes..again.Its been a long time since I'd been spending time with my whole family camping and fooling around,absolutely with my witty cousins..it was such an enjoyable moment even we're nowhere in the middle of jungle..Their antics really complete my day and i love it so much! hahaaha..now enjoy the pics..not so many pictures of people..much more the nature..i think

my favourite one..
the king of my heart.. =p

patutnyer ad memerang..tp die dh lari..xpe2 kte amik gmba tmpt die main je la..hahaha

breathtaking.. this was man-made lake..a little bit salty

.mangrove forest..
you know what, i just feel like swimming in that tempting lake,
though i'm not that good in swimming.. =)

my lil boy n girl..hahaha..they're so adorable,aren't they?

classmates~

trees~wooho~

speechless~
the beauty of Allah's creation.

who is she???????????
our photographer of the day..MIRA ! ooyeay!!
she even took the picture of shits..good shot mira..

again..*sigh*

nothing to say..ngee~

the so-called-cuty ming ming..hahaha
i don't think so..no offense mira.. =p

faa~



i felt so glad coz i'm able to upload all those pictures..alhamdulillah..
i was on cloud 9..really happy*jumping excitedly*
bItah rocks!! =)

Dinner at n00dL3 st@ti0n =)

she's taking mine and i took her pic..

focus!

this is what we called eating happily! ooyeah..

i'm hungry u know..
for the whole day my stomach kept grumbling and now its time to eat!

no need to see fadhilah's pic..just looking at those damn chicken wings.how i wish they're here
*i'm drooling right now*

the wicked fadhilah..hoho..i know there's something in her mind..

fisha and her chicken wings..i didn't see any wings here..owh
my it'd been transferred to bone..hahaha

ReaLization..

Whenever I read my friends' blogs, I always came across so many things that really open my eyes..I'd been forgetful these days. Something that should not be forgotten and yet i tend to forget those really important matters. Forgetful was just so like me no matter how much i wanted to deny. I'd been reading lots of articles * nope, i don't think they can be considered as articles, much more to gossips i think*
I came to realize one thing when i read those so-called-tempting articles.We tend to be deeply affected when we found out that our idols*well for my stage of life its mainly artists* were in troubles...
"what the heck is it all about? i don't think its true..those things were all lies..we'll always keep faith in you! we'll be by your side!" we tend to get emotionally affected,worrying endlessly about them without even realized that there were far more important matters that we should really keep eye on.
Whenever we're all worried about our idols, did we really worried about those unfortunate people who should gain our sympathize more. Did it come across in our mind that those people were struggling endlessly to survive in this harsh world,having no food to eat, loss their family, holding M-16 at such an early age,forced to be matured in order to protect what's important to them and yet we don't even think about their suffering, let it be to lend a hand.I'm not pointing the fault to anyone else but for me instead and also reminding others so that we're aware of what happening around us. Lending a hand doesn't mean that we should getting involve in the war for example in order to protect these people. I admit at this stage there's nothing we can really contribute.But still, the least we can do is by praying to the almighty so that they're always in His protection. We should unite to fight against those heartless authority who seems so excited oppressing others especially Muslims community.

Good MorNing !!! =)

Today was such a memorable day..i woke up early than usual =p
sleeping so late yet i was able to wake up early..its so fantastic..hahaha
spending the whole night having drama marathon until i felt like my eyelids closed slowly without i'd even realized it. Its not like i wanna told you guys all about what i'd been watching the whole night.Its not something necessary to be told =)
This was another day we'd been given a chance to live in such a fascinating and wonderful world..Alhamdulillah.. i admit life would never been that easy but i think there's one thing we must bear in mind that never ever lose faith in Him.

loss

"Life is like being lost". This saying is just too perspective to be revealed. I didn't know why but this saying captured my attention. It might be true because in our lives we kept losing track on what's going on, how are we going to face this and that, loss self-confidence and most importantly at this stage of life like mine apparently, I'm still trying to discover my own-self. Truthfully, i didn't know my own potential or strength. Sometimes it kept bothering me on how am i going to face the life ahead, do i have that capability to be what I'd been dreamt of, does this path of life really suits me.There's too many questions that kept playing in my head.Thinking too much is apparently really make me sometimes kind of loss and scared to face the life ahead. But now i realize one thing, I'll just go with the flow and I'll take all of these slowly because all these questions won't be answered in just one night.I'll discover the answer one by one. I'd been putting all my will to get what i want..and now I'll just wait for the results. It's all in His power.

BabbLIng...

There's nothing we can do to stop all this,
when it was fated to be,
it would happen no matter what,
someone would be on the edge of jealousy,
while the other one would be so happy like there's no tomorrow,
this was how life's get going,
when we felt like being ripped and our world had fallen apart,
others felt like this world was theirs,
and now,
its time for me to conquer my own world..
when final was definitely and totally over..
and its time for holiday!!!!!!!!!
=p


but still,the results were so frightening..urghhh

ReLief....

relief...this is actually the first thing that popped out of my mind,the moment our last paper for the test was ended...alhamdulillah..

i didn't know, but the tense in the air had subsided a little..but still there's a few week more to go before the actual battle begins...

This was actually where everything seems to be so wrong,tensed and sometimes giving me an unbearable headache..

but before this thing happen, i want to spend the rest of the day fooling araound,reading comics and wasting my time..hahaha.. i just feel like doing it..who cares anyway! i want to enjoy the freedom as much as i can before i would grounded myself with those books and annoying papers that'll always being with me even on my bed! sometimes half of my bed were occupied by those papers till i don't have enough space to sleep..poor me..i think that's why my backbone has already misplaced from their original position because of the bad posture during my bedtime..nonsense! ok i need to go..bye!

UnTiTLED....

i just wanna write something...
i don't even know the purpose of my intention to update this blog..maybe its been a long time since i hadn't been updating "my so-called friend"..
life is always been the same..hectic schedule sometimes don't even give me a space to breath..
but being with bunch of good friends was a really good remedy to relieve the stress that kept accumulating ,laughing together on such a silly riddle that was no doubt a ridiculous one..
nevertheless, i love it so much even its childish and silly because its the only time when i really had a good time here..and was able to forget all these problems..Problems were problems no matter what. Without problems..life would be so dull..
so..we should love problems! =p

Sleepy... ZzZzZzzZ!!!!!!!

so sleepy..could i just close my eyelids and let myself drift into dreamland..but i need to work out on something first before that.. i admit that i'd been palyful during this break...enjoying the holiday as much as i could..
but it scared me sometimes..enjoying too much could really harm me in terms of i'll forget what i'd been learnt or maybe too much insecurity that enveloped me..coz most of the time i'll just buried myself into lots of book..till i felt like i was gonna collapsed in any second..
i certainly knew that's habit wasn't good at all because i just put myself into some kind of stress that'll destroy me in the end..but i just couldn't avoid it..
sleepiness has gone..now i want to get back to my own work..
goodnight my blog!!!!!! you're helping me to cure this sleepiness even for a while..hahaha..