life during these days was really really hectic..it was so suffocating till i felt that i couldn't breath sometimes..i do not know how in the world that i was able to go through all those things..sometimes i felt that it doesn't belong to me yet it stroked me how much efforts i'd been put on to get this far..so i just couldn't put my effort to waste..it was hard..seriously.. i admit for the first time i got clueless kept forgetting and mixing up the things that i'd been memorized before..it was really unusual of me..ya Allah please help me..i just really need you now..i didn't want to disappoint all my treasures in life..i didn't want to let them down because that was the last thing i would ever do..but i just kept disappointing 'em without i even realized it..