C+N+S= CNS ! -_-

CNS..you're really something,

sometimes, i'm on the verge of losing insanity because of you,

Getting to know you inside and out required lots of efforts, getting me confused and speechless because you're the most complex system i'd ever encountered..

making all my nerves in the brain develop more complex synapses between each other.

you're so amazing yet making me go insane sometimes whenever i got mixed up everything that i'd learn about you..

Just getting to know you is much harder than one could ever imagine but Allah Almighty creating you without any difficulties, in the most systematic order, different tracts innervating different organs to perform specific functions within a split second. This complex system lies within our own body, controlling our body movements, emotion and personality. But we always forget about all those things that lie within our body is actually one of the most precious gift by Allah.We're willing to do anything for our own pleasure without even considering whether it is halal or haram. We're doing something that isn't allowed by syara' but to do this "haram" thingy, we're using His gifts (the body,brain,hands etc which are only being lent to us)..How shameless are we?

8 years....

it's been already 8 years since i'd last seen her. 16th Ramadhan, the date that i would never forget for the rest of my life..all those memories kept appear one by one,replaying all the things that took place on that faithful day. I'm longing to see her, embracing her tightly and pouring out all the feelings that i'd been keeping to myself for all this while. It was something that had been fated, i accept it but sometimes i just couldn't help to miss her, i miss her too much that i felt like my heart gonna explode in any second. I love her so much and i regretted it so much for not telling her how much i love her, how much she meant for me. Nevertheless, i was really thankful to Allah for lending her to me even for a short while. She's such a great company, teacher and mom for me..alhamdulillah ya allah..may allah bless her.

oooo dsl n sgs... @ @

I just wanna throw aside those sgs and dsl..argghhh..so sleepy to even think all sorts of things slee regarding pulmonary neoplasm..

0_0..camping

assalamualaikum...

After such a long time I'd not been updating my dearest blog, i finally have the guts to do it..I was so bored to death with nothing to do.My body aches all over with scratches here and there during the past few days.I'd to go for camping right after the exam..It was beyond what i would've expected. It was such a pleasant memories that i wouldn't think being able to be erased from my brain's hard disks...hahaha..Though it was enjoyable to spent some times there, there's actually some kind of misunderstandings arose between the participants and the facilitators which actually spoil the camping mood. Despite all those misunderstandings, i had a great time with my buddies after being grounded for 2 whole weeks..for the sake of final exam..hahaha..so pathetic. Actually there's one thing that i didn't really satisfy....

Why in the world they didn't allow us to play in water for so long. You know that i really craved for that thingy for a very long time and yet i couldn't really enjoy it due to the shortage of time..i just wish that i could turn back time and just ignore what they said and played as much as i want..hahaha..

she's creating her own record..alhamdulillah =)

how i'm proud of my little sister, i know all her hard work was paid off..i'm really happy for her because she's able to achieve something that i couldn't be able to before. She's really something...hahaha.. really proud of her..luckily she doesn't go through what i'd gone through before during this faithful day. Congratulations!! thank you so muh for not disappointing ayah..i'd been disappointing ayah so much in a way that i myself couldn't explain it but you're just like my savior cause you'd make him so happy and proud to have you in this world.

sleepiness..not

its early in the morning and yet i'm still in front of my lappy doing some kind of "study"..hahaha..i'm studying and at the same time i kept wandering around the internet..what kind of study was that.i myself couldn't explain it.. respiratory module were quite confusing with lots of physics thingy, and the more i wanna escape from that subject the more it kept following me around..aissh..no matter how tragic it was for me to understand the concept involving this physics thingy, as long as i could grab the basic concept..it was such a relief..alhamdulillah.

all of sudden i kept remembering last week event..ayah,ummi.abang,qilah,wa'ie,ifah and me..all of us finally being able to spend time together after quite some time..though it was just for a brief period of time..i felt contented..its not like we're going for a trip or having a holiday together..its just that we're going to send qilah off to uia and not more than that..but still we're able to create memories together..i knew the moment i saw my little brother,i'd gone crazy for a little while..i kept running and jumping around the hotel room with him like a mad girl and nobody cared..hahaha..though i'd gone crazy, i was happy to see 'em.. i know as we grow older,it was really hard to have a time where all the family members could gather and chatter around like the old days..i also realize how all my little sisters had grown up and one of 'em was now able to continue her study in the field she's really longing for..and i'm really happy for her..how i wish my mom could be with us and said that she's really proud to have us..i know it was impossible but i just culdn't help it..alhamdulillah..ya Allah thank you so much for all the things that you'd been given to me no matter the gifts or the trials, i'm really thankful for that..

well well...you're being abandoned for so long hon..sorry for not having time to update my little cutie here..i'd been really busy lately and i was seriously not in the mood of writing for a little while..life had always been the same..going to class,having an exam from time to time, spending time with friends, stressed out when something was in my way and bla bla bla..just finished having final exam that was totally different from all the exams that i'd been gone through before..what a day..anyway, it was fun though after three weeks of struggling with pile of notes that i'd never been able to cover it all, i was here in my little cozy home enjoying every second of my priceless freedom even for a while...for the exam, the only thing that i'm able to do right now is tawakkal...hoping that i won't get bad results.

you've been granted with lots of wonderful things in your life,

your parents love you unconditionally,

not even once in your whole life time they ask for anything in return,

they love you despites all the bad things you'd been doing for all this while,

you'd seen with your own eyes how your late mom sacrificed lots of things for the sake of your happiness,

despites of the uncontrollable spreading of malignants inside her own body which slowly eating her alive,

she never forget to love and attend your needs,

she endured all the pain for you, your dad and your siblings,

she knew all along that she'll be return to her own creator soon,

she accepted the fact that her time in this world was really short,

and still she never forget to carry out her responsibility as a muslim, mom and wife though she sometime couldn't afford to get up by herself,

you'd seen all those things display right in front of your eyes..

so please be strong the way your mother did,

and never give up cause you have Allah by your side,

don't you dare to put all the sacrifes the'd done for you into a waste..

life during these days was really really hectic..it was so suffocating till i felt that i couldn't breath sometimes..i do not know how in the world that i was able to go through all those things..sometimes i felt that it doesn't belong to me yet it stroked me how much efforts i'd been put on to get this far..so i just couldn't put my effort to waste..it was hard..seriously.. i admit for the first time i got clueless kept forgetting and mixing up the things that i'd been memorized before..it was really unusual of me..ya Allah please help me..i just really need you now..i didn't want to disappoint all my treasures in life..i didn't want to let them down because that was the last thing i would ever do..but i just kept disappointing 'em without i even realized it..

pack schedule+test=collapse.. 0_0

it was so damn pack..and i didn't know how i could manage to go through this day..it was such a long and tiring days with 6 lectures ...i was survived! it was too much..with that embryology thingy..lots of terms for the same thing but at different stages..why did they create so many terms for that same kind of thing..and now the things to remember are increasing dramatically..how i'm gonna do this! Luckily our kesatria ended up earlier than usual coz was really really tired..and i got BEL paper to sit at night..such a long and tiring day...

mid term break...

it was so lovely to be at home again after having that stressful progress test..i'm just hoping that i won't get bad result coz it was such a last minute preparation with tons of lectures notes to be covered..having not enough time to remember all those little microscopic bacteria, histology with tons of things to memorize and other subjects which are so 'irresistable'..

being so busy for the saf preaparation and all sorts of non-academic activities made me loss sometimes as i couldn't cope with this kind of environment yet..i just couldn't help for being so tired after having such a hectic schedule starting early in the morning and end up late in the evening..may be as time progressing, i was able to cope with all of these thing..i'm really pray for that..The students in this faculty were so brilliant, and i didn't think i was comparable to them..all the seniors from diploma seem to know lots of things and i could imagine that all the things that we learnt were just at their fingertips..the fast track students and matrix students were not bad at all..They were so hardworking and it scared me out sometimes..i'm just praying that i'm able to go through these five years of my life as a medical student..i don't want to be an ordinary doctor..i want to be an extraordinary doctor who can contribute to the societies without expecting any rewards in return..amin..

sorts of things...

There's lots of wedding invitations during this school holiday that kept me busy and required my family and i to travel such a long journey to my dad's hometown after almost one year i hadn't step my feet there. It wasn't only wedding invitations but more to "lending a hand" invitations coz this is my closest relatives' weddings, so i just couldn't stay still and watched the whole procession without offering any help . I didn't know why but when i saw how my cousins and her family handled these whole things for that big event, i could conclude that we need to consider the whole aspects in order to get married and it wasn't like a piece of cake. If i was being asked on how i felt the moment i saw my cousins getting married, all i could tell that it wasn't easy to get married..

Tons of things need to be considered, not only the moment of ones marriage but also the life after their marriage. In conclusion, i'm not ready yet to face that kind of life even though i do have the feeling of having someone who was being fated as my husband.. =))

However i felt really envious of my cousins because both of them had found their own happiness and i do really happy for them..May Alllah bless their marriage..

The whole week that we spend was incredulously memorable because for the first time in my life, i enjoyed going back to my dad's hometown and visiting all the relatives who i rarely seen. Before this, i admit that it was such a burden to head back to my dad's hometown because i wasn't that closed with the relatives there and what made me uneasy being with them was that i could hardly understand their kelantanese accent which became the barrier of our communication..However, i do understand what they said easily after living in kelantan for almost two years and now i really enjoyed their company.

There's one time when i visited my great grandmother, i felt a pang of sadness the moment i saw how she was being treated. I wasn't put the blame on anyone, its just that i felt that this world was really unfair because i could tell that this old,sickly grandmother had sacrificed her whole life for the sake of her beloved ones but what she got in return was not as much as what she had given ..The way she was being treated was just so unforgiveable. Just bear in mind that she was not a burden but a gift from Allah. I hope that we won't forget all the sacrifices that had been done by our parents so easily till we have the heart to simply abandoning them like they are nothing.

Cut3 $tUffs

Just bear with me today coz all of sudden i just feel like to put some of the cute stuffS that i found...out of nowhere this crazy idea just popping out of my mind..silly girl =))

Even if i won't be able to have it, just by looking at these stuffs is more than enough.

Now its time to enjoy!!! yeay...

different emotions displayed and most importantly cute.. ^^

just because all the kittens seem to abandon him..he'll just befriend with that little chick

at least he's got friend right..

oh,its so cold!!

i don't think I've the heart to eat this food stuff

its just too cute to be slice ,grind and mix with saliva inside the mouth. hahaha

=p

this is so amazing!!

kawaii =))

Getting married =))

Who's getting married?? of course it won't be me, definitely.I'm really happy right at this moment coz my favourite cousin is getting married tonight..how lovely <3

I hope they'll have a blessing marriage and stick to each other no matter what happen in the future..i'm just hoping she'll be happy for the rest of her life..amin..

kak su..i love you so much..be happy and just don't let the smile erased from your face coz it is the best healer even in the lowest point of your life..keep smiling =))

dull life~

My life seems so dull recently caused i'd kept wasting it on the unnecessary things. I know that kind of things were not good at all but i just couldn't resist myself to enjoy those kind of things.In the end, I was just kept receiving ear-piercing, non-stop babbling from my dad.What else could i said since it was my own fault after all..hehe, so i just need to bear with it no matter what..

My little brother was fun to be with but when he started throwing his tantrums and that was the time that i really hate to deal with. I didn't know what's gotten in his own mind cause whenever i scolded him not to do this and that, he was just seems so happy to do those things. He's really getting on my nerves but i just couldn't stay mad at him.

untitled..

It seems like ages that i'd been abandoned my little tiny friend here (this blog)..it's just that i didn't have the mood to write for the time being..
no more typing nonsense things..
For the whole 5 weeks in pre med, i didn't know how to put in words..it was like all sorts of feeling that kept mixing up. It was very enjoyable to discover the whole new things and yet it gave me some sorts of feeling of nervousness, insecurity,and capability to devote my whole life in this path..It scared me out to think about that matter..just one thing that i bore in my mind the moment i was stepping out of the exam hall..if i get chosen. then it was what best for me and Allah knows that i could cope with that kind of life..so i'll try my very best..insya allah but if not, then maybe this was not the one for me.

holiday was my favourite..hahaha.. i just so love it. i'm free to do anything and it makes me so happy..

How i wish that ibu would be here even for just a split second to see how happy my dad was..

The smile on his face enlightens my day.He seems so happy today that he couldn't afford to erase the smile on his face.I know i'll miss him terribly when the time comes and he's being taken away from me. I don't know how in the world that i'm able to go on with my life when he's not by my side..its scary to think of it but no matter how much i want to put the thought aside, i just couldn't afford to do that because i know the time will come...

Field Trip..woohoo!!!!! i just so love it!

No need to mention how much i love this field trip..don't know why but one thing i know for sure that i could get away from that 'prison' even for just a while.. Being close to nature was much more fun than spending the whole day at the shopping mall..ok no offense to those who loved shopping mall that much coz i just couldn't help myself from falling head over heels in love with nature..hahaha..so freaking liar..its not that i love nature that much but it was kind of like that i felt myself so damn lucky for being given a chance to enjoy the the god's creation that laid in front of my eyes..again.Its been a long time since I'd been spending time with my whole family camping and fooling around,absolutely with my witty cousins..it was such an enjoyable moment even we're nowhere in the middle of jungle..Their antics really complete my day and i love it so much! hahaaha..now enjoy the pics..not so many pictures of people..much more the nature..i think

my favourite one..
the king of my heart.. =p

patutnyer ad memerang..tp die dh lari..xpe2 kte amik gmba tmpt die main je la..hahaha

breathtaking.. this was man-made lake..a little bit salty

.mangrove forest..
you know what, i just feel like swimming in that tempting lake,
though i'm not that good in swimming.. =)

my lil boy n girl..hahaha..they're so adorable,aren't they?

classmates~

trees~wooho~

speechless~
the beauty of Allah's creation.

who is she???????????
our photographer of the day..MIRA ! ooyeay!!
she even took the picture of shits..good shot mira..

again..*sigh*

nothing to say..ngee~

the so-called-cuty ming ming..hahaha
i don't think so..no offense mira.. =p

faa~



i felt so glad coz i'm able to upload all those pictures..alhamdulillah..
i was on cloud 9..really happy*jumping excitedly*
bItah rocks!! =)

Dinner at n00dL3 st@ti0n =)

she's taking mine and i took her pic..

focus!

this is what we called eating happily! ooyeah..

i'm hungry u know..
for the whole day my stomach kept grumbling and now its time to eat!

no need to see fadhilah's pic..just looking at those damn chicken wings.how i wish they're here
*i'm drooling right now*

the wicked fadhilah..hoho..i know there's something in her mind..

fisha and her chicken wings..i didn't see any wings here..owh
my it'd been transferred to bone..hahaha